Science AS level Case Study

Part 1

Building effective paragraphs

This tutorial aims to help you explore ways of writing about science. You’ll read an example from an AS level coursework from the Wishees collection and reflect on ways of improving the coursework through thinking about the vocabulary and overall organisation of the ideas. Read the text first.

 

Task 1 - Using scientific vocabulary

Read Task 1a

Using the correct words and terminology in a piece of scientific writing helps you to clearly communicate with your reader and to demonstrate your scientific understanding.

Try this exercise to start thinking about choosing precise vocabulary.
Read the paragraph below from the AS level coursework and highlight any words/phrases you feel need to be more specific or have been used incorrectly:

Weather is the daily condition of the air around us over a short period of time. Some scientists carry out weather techniques, in order to measure ozone levels. Weather can be measured by using temperature. Furthermore, temperature it is usually measured with a thermometer in degrees centigrade. (ºC)

Although, measuring the pressure on the weather is another way to detect the ozone levels, pressure is a measure of the mass of air the atmosphere. Therefore, pressure is measured with a barometer in milliards. (Mb)

However, Wind can be used to detect ozone levels. An anemometer measures wind speed in mph. The most common type is a windmill. Three cups are fixed to a central shaft and the stronger the wind blows the faster the windmill rotates.

Also, measuring sunlight is another way of measuring ozone levels,  A Campbell Stokes Recorder measures sunlight. This type of recorder is made up of a glass ball which concentrates sunshine on to a thick piece of card.

Therefore, these weather changes in the atmosphere help to measure ozone concentration.

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Thinking Task 1b - Thinking about the words

1. Look at the two words in green on the first line. Are they both needed? Which one would you remove? Why?

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2. Why do you think certain words/parts of sentences have been highlighted in red?

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3. One word has been crossed out, what should it be?

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Matching Task 1c - Matching exercise, see table below

Match the phrases in red in the paragraph above to their replacements

 

Read the paragraph now:

The Weather is the changes in atmospheric conditions over a short period of time. Some scientists carry out measurements of these atmospheric conditions, in order to measure ozone levels. A number of methods can be used to measure atmospheric conditions one of these is measuring air temperature, which is usually done with a thermometer in degrees centigrade. Measuring the atmospheric pressure is another way to detect the ozone level. Atmospheric pressure is a measure of the force exerted, on a surface, by the air in the atmosphere above it and is measured with a barometer in millibars (Mb). Wind speed can also be used to detect ozone levels. An anemometer measures wind speed in mph. the most common type is a windmill. Three cups are fixed to a central shaft and the stronger the wind blows the faster the windmill rotates. Measuring the intensity of sunlight is yet another way of measuring ozone levels. The Campbell Stokes Recorder measures sunlight intensity, this type of recorder is made up of a glass ball which concentrates sunlight on a thick piece of card. All of these measurements of atmospheric changes can be used to indicate ozone concentration.

Have these changes improved the paragraph?

To learn more about improving the organisation of this paragraph, go to part two.